


Just Ice

by DeidaLaw



Series: Justice [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, M/M, Mystery, Romance, fast burn still applies, part two of an epic trilogy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28927479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeidaLaw/pseuds/DeidaLaw
Summary: Seven years after the tragic events of Just Us, Deidara and Sasori move to Colorado. All seems to be going well, until the past threatens to catch up to them.
Relationships: Deidara/Sasori (Naruto)
Series: Justice [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556344
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. The Move

**Author's Note:**

> This is the epic sequel we've all been waiting for. Enjoy uwu

It was a cold and bitter night. At least it seemed that way to Sasori, who hated packing for trips. Except it wasn’t a trip he packed for, but a cross-country move. Seven years after the blissful though slightly horrible beginning to their relationship, Sasori and Deidara were moving to Steamboat, Colorado.

They weren’t alone. Little Zetsu and Suigetsu toddled around, not really helping but pretending they were. Deidara and Sasori had adopted them when Zetsu was 6 and Suigetsu was but a babe, one year prior to their move.

After “the incident,” Deidara was traumatized by cars. Zetsu, or Aloe Vera as he was nicknamed, desperately wanted some Hot Wheels toy cars, but Deidara would not allow it. Because of this phobia, moving to another house, let alone another state, was tremendously difficult. But it was better for Deidara, because in Georgia one has to drive everywhere, but in Steamboat, at least during winter, one can just ski. To make this move happen with as little difficulty as possible, Aloe Vera and Suigetsu were to go by plane with Ino the cashier, and now long-time friend, as their chaperone. 

Ino had managed to slip Sasori’s debit card before they left, in order to pay for the trip, of course. Because little Suigetsu was only one year old, the flight was free for him, as long as his adult chaperone kept him in her lap. But Ino wasn’t about that life, so she had Aloe Vera carry Suigetsu the whole time. Although it was only a two-and-a-half-hour flight, Ino ordered 6 margaritas and paid for in-flight wifi as well. All with Sasori’s card. Somehow she had managed to guess the pin, 0213, since it was Aloe Vera’s birthday. For some reason Deidara was always a bit more solemn on that day too. However, this chain of logic completely left Ino’s mind as she gulped down her sixth margarita.

With the trashed Ino sluggishly following, Aloe Vera managed to navigate the Hayden airport to find the shuttle that would take the three of them to Steamboat. It would be quite a bit of time before his parents joined them in their new home, about four months to be exact. In the meantime, Ino was to take care of Aloe Vera and Suigetsu, though she really just spent the whole time drinking and skiing. On Sasori’s dollar of course.

The kids had so much time to kill, seeing as Ino completely neglected to put Aloe Vera in school, that they took up skiing. Even though Suigetsu could barely walk, he quickly mastered the art, blazing down every slope with ease and performing jumps that even Olympic skiers would fear. For a couple of months he even lived in a teepee on the slopes, making friends with the woodland creatures. Ino didn’t notice his absence.

Sasori and Deidara went by hoverboard, suitcases in tow.


	2. The Case

After seven years, the case still remained a mystery. The state had all but dropped it when Detective Tobi came upon a promising new lead: some old mall security footage that they had initially overlooked. Tobi begged the judge, Nagato, to let him continue working on the murder mystery, convinced that this footage had the necessary clues to solving it.

Nagato stared silently, “...”

“Dude, this whole murder thing is so weird anyways, like, we don’t know anything, and it’s been, like, forever, y’know?” court reporter Yahiko spoke up to fill the silence.

“What Yahiko is trying to say is the very nature of this case is quite absurd. There were practically no witnesses, even though the crime occurred in the parking lot of a very popular mall. No one called the police until mall security happened upon the body approximately four hours after the time of death. And just when a motion to close the case is on the table, you happen to find security footage that no one thought to investigate for seven years? Even the deceased’s family has stopped trying to find the culprit,” jury panel Pain elaborated.

“Okay, yeah we kinda screwed up by not checking the security footage, but hear me out. Me and good ol’ Obito have looked it over and it looks like it’ll be super easy to find the killer. He had a bright-ass yellow lamborghini for crying out loud! That’s gotta be easy to track!” Tobi pleaded.

Tobi’s detective partner Obito spoke up, “He’s right. And after running the car registries of the surrounding areas, we have found only one yellow lamborghini owner: Akasuna no Sasori. With your permission, we’d like to apply for a warrant to search his last known place of residence.”

Nagato continued to simply stare, “...”

“Well, if you are absolutely confident in this, Obito, then you have my trust,” Pain conceded.

Although Nagato contributed nearly nothing to the discussion, he eventually signed the necessary warrant for the Tobito Team, as they were called, to search Sasori’s residence, not knowing that Sasori had just moved to Colorado.

Upon arrival at Sasori’s now vacant home, the Tobito Team split up. Tobi, being the wilder of the two, started creeping around to see if he could peek in through a window or something. Obito, having more than just one brain cell, decided to ask the neighbors if they remember anything useful before using the power of the warrant to enter the premises. Konan, glaring as always, glared at Obito as he approached.

“Hello, ma’am. I am a police investigator working on a case that has led me here. Do you have a moment to speak?” Obito inquired, trying to be as non-alarming as possible to this now very elderly woman.

“IIIIIIII REMEMBER EVERYYYYYTHING” Konan suddenly said, very loudly and discordantly.

“That’s… good. Do you remember anything about February 13th seven years ago? Anything about your neighbor Sasori, perhaps?”

“IIIIIIII REMEMBER EVERYYYYYTHING” Konan repeated, just as loudly.

“...What… do you remember?” Obito began to think he’d found a dead-end. Clearly this lady was a little bit off.

“THAT LITTLE RED-HAIRED PUNK, I KNOW THAT ISN’T HIS NATURAL HAIR COLOR, THE HOOLIGAN, CAME SCREECHING DOWN THE ROAD IN THAT PAINFORSAKEN CAR, THE NERVE OF THAT BOY, ONLY IN HIGH SCHOOL BUT ARROGANT ENOUGH TO BUY SUCH A GAUDY VEHICLE,” Konan continued, at the same volume as before.

“Yes, his yellow lamborghini. Did you notice anything wrong with it, or anything suspicious about Sasori’s behavior?” Obito coaxed, trying to get past the boomer nonsense. Meanwhile, Tobi was still creepily looking through the windows of Sasori’s old home.

“THAT IDIOT MUST HAVE CRASHED HIS CAR, SERVES HIM RIGHT. THERE WAS A GIANT DENT IN THE FRONT. SEEMED AS ANNOYING AS EVER THOUGH, WAVING LIKE AN AIRHEAD. AFTER A FEW MINUTES HE CAME BACK OUTSIDE AND WALKED TO THE QUEEN OF DAIRY, PAIN SAVE THE QUEEN--”

“Thank you very much for your time, ma’am. I’ll be taking my leave now,” Obito interrupted, having gathered all the information he needed and not wanting to have to suffer Konan’s loud diatribe any more.

At the same time, Tobi decided to finally enter Sasori’s old home and declare his intentions, like a regular person. Warrant in hand, Tobi kicked in the door and yelled, “I’M COMING IN AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!” to an audience of no one. Despite the lack of response, and the completely empty look of the house, Tobi continued the search.

Obito, seeing the fallen-over For Sale sign half-hidden in a bush, realized that they were too late: Sasori had moved. Following the lead that Konan gave him to the Dairy Queen down the road, Obito found another person who might have knowledge as to the events of that day: the (former) DQ Dealer, Kakuzu.

Despite not being the DQ Dealer anymore, Kakuzu was still in Dairy Queen, just sitting in a booth and staring into space with his bloodshot eyes. Obito tried to get him to recount the events of that day, to absolutely no avail. Kakuzu told him tales of an infant child living with woodland creatures on a snowy mountain. Obviously some kind of “trip” he was on, Obito decided.

After the strikeout with the DQ Dealer, the Tobito Team regrouped and looked for leads on Sasori’s current whereabouts. Looking on the social media of Sasori’s friend group for any clues, Obito noticed Sasori’s adopted children, Zetsu and Suigetsu, in the background of one of Ino the cashier’s photos, tagged with her location: Steamboat. Assuming to find the parents with the children, the Tobito Team headed out for room 606, Colorado.


	3. The Call

Little did the Toes, as they were… also... called, know, Sasori and Deidara weren’t to be found in Colorado either. Still on the road, or hoverboarding through a forest, as the case may be, the two were nearly there, but not quite. Obito was more than a bit shocked at how horrible a job Ino was doing to look after the children, and that Sasori and Deidara had trusted her to do so in the first place, but he didn’t have time to be filing a report to the child protective services; he had to find the culprit of that seven-year-old crime: Sasori.

Booking the next room over, 607, just to be sure that they were there when Sasori arrived, the Toes went back to the drawing board. Unfortunately, they were not able to stay for long, as Tobi created such a ruckus that they were personally escorted out of the building, and banned.

A few days later, Sasori and Deidara finally arrived at their new home. Absolutely ravaged by the trip, they did not wait to greet their children; they just slumped down immediately in the entrance. Not alarmed at all, Ino took this to mean that she was relieved of her duty and simply stepped over their passed out bodies to go chill in the hot tub. Which she was just about to do anyways.

Suddenly, the phone rang. For some unknown reason, Sasori had insisted that they always have at least two phones on the landline. Who even uses a landline anymore? Deidara dragged himself across the floor to the phone in the kitchen.

“Whhhhhhhhh?” he answered.

“I feel it with my eye,” a familiar voice replied.

“Whhhhhhhhh??” Deidara recognized the voice to be Sasuke, because that’s how he opened literally every conversation.

“Sasori will be arrested in 17 days.”

“WHHHHHHHHH???”

Sasuke hung up, leaving Deidara bewildered. In his confusion, Deidara had not noticed that Sasori had moved from the entranceway to the other landline in their bedroom. Suddenly full of energy, Sasori hastily began to get ready for yet another journey, which made Deidara even more confused. He got confused a lot lately.

“Honey, why are you putting on your ski boots? It’s like 10 at night and we literally just got here,” Deidara inquired, somehow not putting together the information that he just received from Sasuke and Sasori’s uneasiness.

“I… gotta go find some milk. Safer to wear boots when finding milk.”

“But we have like two gallons of milk. Dunno why Ino got so much.”

“We need more. Our kids love milk.”

“Our kids hate mi--” but Sasori had already left.


	4. The Rider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Terry Sports for not sponsoring this! And yes, you can reach Moose Jaw skiing for three days and there is a bridge in Moose Jaw.

He skied at full speed for no less than three full days.

Actually, Sasori had to make a pit stop at Terry Sports to pick up his skis. After walking loudly and clumsily down to the ski shop, Sasori kicked open the door, much to Neji the shopkeeper’s surprise, and hastily grabbed the skis that Neji had prepared for him to pick up the next morning.

Once Sasori was all geared up, he turned North. Which meant he had to go back past the condo he just came from. As he neared the building, Sasori caught a glimpse of Deidara standing on the balcony, clad in black, gazing at the snowy mountains before him. The wind carried Deidara’s words to Sasori’s ears: “To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream-- ay, there’s the rub.”

And with this sight, Sasori started on his three-day journey towards Canada. Though he had no particular destination in mind, Sasori ended up in Moose Jaw, just over the border, where he would be safe from the prying eyes of the Toes.

Coincidentally, there was another who had run, or rather skied, away from the Toes many years earlier. As Sasori sought shelter from the crippling Canadian cold, he stumbled upon Hidan the Bridgeman, under a bridge. 

“Yooooooooooooooooooo-” Hidan began.

“Oh, sorr-” Sasori quickly replied.

“-ooooooooooooooo-” Hidan continued.

“...” At this point Sasori didn’t know whether he should just leave or wait until Hidan was done.

“-oooooo duude wassup,” Hidan finally finished. 

Sasori waited a few beats just in case Hidan had anything else to say beyond this greeting. “Uh, hi, sorry for barging into your… bridge. I’ll just go find a different bridge to sleep under.”

“Nah dude, there’s only one bridge in Moose Jaw and you’re lookin’ at the Bridgeman brooo.”

“I saw another just a few blocks awa-” Sasori started, pointing vaguely in some direction.

“Nope, only one bridge in Moose Jaw, dude.” Hidan insisted.

After a brief silence, Sasori shrugged and decided to stay a while under the bridge with Hidan, if only for the company. 

“Dude, I can feel the dark vibes emanating off your bod. You runnin’ from the Toes too? Whatcha do, kill someone? Lmao,” Somehow Hidan knew exactly what Sasori was doing, despite just meeting him. He also actually said the acronym “lmao” out loud.

“Uh, yeah actually, I killed a man ten years ago.” For some reason Sasori felt safe divulging this decade-long secret to this self-proclaimed Bridgeman, probably because Hidan was insane.

“Woah, that’s cap!” Hidan seemed more excited than scared by the fact. “I didn’t do anythin’ that cool, I just told the Toes to eat it and stopped givin’ my dollars to ‘em. Lmao,”

“So you… evaded taxes?” Sasori guessed.

“Lmao yeah,” replied Hidan, spelling out the word for the third time.

“Uh, cool,” Sasori didn’t know what to make of the Bridgeman, but at least he didn’t feel threatened by him.

And so Sasori stayed under that bridge with Hidan the Bridgeman.


End file.
